Healthy Dose of Competition

Sibling rivalry, Kardashian style 

For as long as I can remember, people have always told to stop. Comparing. Myself. To. Others.

"You are your own person. Just because you want the same things as him/her doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up when you lose. Just do your best, and you'll eventually find success on your own."

Um. I beg to differ.

We live in a world that thrives on competition. Man has evolved through the centuries, but that inherent need to be the best remains unchanged. Our early ancestors fought each other for food, shelter and other tools essential for survival. In the same way, we now measure our rivals as potential threats ready to snatch the things that should belong to us. It doesn't matter if the stakes are high or low. Once our minds register the possibility of losing to another, instincts kick in and we immediately attack the source of our unease.

To put this in a better context (i.e., one that doesn't ostensibly reduce us to a bunch of dogs drooling over a piece of meat), let me give an example. Say you were in your favorite clothing store, and they just marked down their items as part of a clearance sale. You sift through racks of forgotten dresses and overlooked shirts, hoping to find a piece that would make the perfect addition to your closet. You glance absentmindedly to your left, and lo and behold: said piece of clothing has manifested itself in the form of a cozy-looking knit cardigan. Your mind already begins to race with different wardrobe combinations until you realize that there's someone else who had probably been thinking the same thing. What's worse? That someone already held the answer to your prayers in her hands. Literally.

You've never met her before, but this lady who dared to "steal" your precious cardigan suddenly becomes more evil than Voldemort could ever hope to be. Forget the fact that she's innocent. Forget that she's in the store for the same reason as you: to scour for bargains that wouldn't cause the ol' check balance to groan in complete emptiness. Forget that she probably has a loving family, a stable job and a bunch of overweight tabby cats waiting for her at home.

She's a bad person. W-why? 'Coz... She just is, okay!

Sorry, I apologize if that scenario ended up a little too exaggerated. The message is clear, though. Competitiveness is part of your nature. In the past, it served as a means for your survival. Now, it becomes a necessary obstacle to your success. You are bound to desire the same objects, aim for the same goals and pursue the same careers as each other. Why would a company hire you  if someone else were more capable for the job? Why would your best friend settle for you if another person were willing to treat him/her better?

Why should the cardigan belong to you when it was never even yours to begin with?

Engaging in a rivalry imbues you with a uniquely agonizing combination of jealousy, insecurity and disappointment all at once. It makes you impulsive, rash and ten times more likely to regret your decisions thirty seconds after making them. Sadly, comparison against others remains - and will probably remain - a huge factor in determining your aptitude. The most you can do is to accept friendly competition and realize its importance without letting paranoia psyche you out. Use failure as motivation to improve. Know who you are based on what others see, but know yourself first based on who you see. 

Coming in second will always suck. That won't change anytime soon. What can change is your perspective on it. Work not only for yourself but to see the look on *ahem* someone's face when you finally cross the finish line first.