Why Bad Boys Are Just Bad

If you’re a living, breathing human girl and you tell me you’ve NEVER been attracted to someone your dad wouldn’t hesitate chasing off with a baseball bat, then you’re a liar.

For years, countless forms of media have been geared at promoting a hyper-sexualized characterization of the possessive, testosterone-driven and excitingly forbidden leading man. In other words, Christian Grey.

I know what you’re thinking: “OMG SEXINESS OVERLOAADDD!!!” right? Yeah, I used to think so, too.

They're pretty nice to look at though. 

I’m a teenaged girl. Of course I’ve fantasized about falling in love with a bad boy. A huge chunk of my daydreaming quota is dedicated to guys fighting each other because of me or entering bouts of pseudo-depression when I’m not around. This will probably bar me from joining any feminist movement in the future, but I thought completely losing myself in the process of finding love was romantic. I thought having a soul mate meant that I could depend on someone to tie me down to Earth and become my sole purpose for living (even if he was slightly off his rocker).

Damn you, Romeo and Juliet, for making me revel in the tragedy of love ending in double suicide. Damn you, too, Twilight, for making me feel like that’s totally normal in a modern – albeit slightly fictional – setting. But though Romeo admittedly does fickle like nobody’s business, he doesn’t fit into our average bad boy stereotype. Edward Cullen, on the other hand… Sparkly vampire predisposed to kill you, unhinge your self-esteem and watch you sleep? Back. Away. RIGHT NOW.

I used to dream about dating bad boys for several reasons. Now, I’m going to attempt explaining to my past self – and to you – why I was so stupid to consider them worthy of my adolescent infatuation.

1) “B-but they’re so romantic and hot when they get all possessive. It’s their way of showing they care.”

Would you still be seeing them the same way once they start locking you in and curbing your independence? Would they still be hot when they lose their tempers and threaten you with violence?

2) “They’re not broken, just damaged. And I’m the only girl who can fix them!”

Oh, me from the past, you’re overblowing your own sense of heroism. First, you don’t need to save anyone. Second, you’re not really the saving type. Third, you deserve to have someone who will save himself for your sake. Please, repeat after your future self: DO NOT CHASE AFTER PLAYERS.

However, if you do see a glimmer of hope lurking beneath those razor-sharp bangs, then don’t hesitate to lend an ear. Just remember that he probably needs a real friend more than he needs a clingy girlfriend.

3) “I never know what to expect from them! They make things so interesting that I never get bored.”

Girl, that is called stringing someone on. Why would bad boys limit themselves to you when other girls are lining up to polish their shoes? You’ll have a head full of gray hair by the end of the week. Another reason they’re so intriguing is that they’re possibly hiding a lot of issues. They’re banking on your weakness for the forbidden, so they can continue using you as the brunt of their crappy anger management skills.

4) “We’re just having fun! NOTHING WILL HAPPEN, SHEESH.”

All’s fun and games until you see the side they try to hide from the rest of society. You’re entering dangerous territory, and once they convince you that abusive behavior is normal, then you’ll be left with scars far worse than the ones you’ll find on your body. They might truly love you, but they’re not worth it. Please be careful.

By the way, stop saying “sheesh.” It’s annoying.

            You might have other reasons for loving bad boys, and you’ll probably continue to idolize them as they make waves in the entertainment industry. Before you take the plunge though, ask yourself first: would I still like this bad boy if he weren’t attractive?